When you visit a swinger club you have to remember, everyone is there for the same thing. Everyone wants to end their night with kinky, amazing sex and depending on the club you even get to eat amazing food after. Germany is known for this. 100 euro for my husband & I and we get unlimited drinks all night, access to multiple rooms & a buffet. Can I get a hell yeah? Nothing compares to tasty food & a cold drink after an ecstatic orgasm. The first time we had a night like this I thought “wow. I just found a place that has all of my favorite things: sex, food & any drinks I want.” Now onto some ways to maneuver around your first time jitters and behave like a natural…
1. Remember you’re around like-minded, curious people.
Looking around (if you’re lucky enough to not have a language barrier, which can be mysteriously sexy at times for the record…) you’ll notice eyes on you. This can be nerve-wracking. Being nervous & self-conscious is normal. It helps to remember that most have the same kind of jitters. And also remember that you’re in one of the most body-positive places you could possibly be. Every beautiful person is different & most people are just there to have a good time, regardless of your body type or theirs.
For guys, it’s also normal for it to be difficult to get it up the first few times at a club, or if you’re over a certain age as well. We are in our early 20s so we haven’t needed this yet, but Viagra is a good thing to keep in your back pocket just in case. On the other hand for ladies like me a few drinks loosens up those inhibitions!
2. Taking the Initiative
If you don’t make the first move, chances are it won’t happen. You miss all the shots you don’t take. Don’t be afraid of rejection either, some people are looking for something VERY specific. It may or may not be you, but there’s only one way to find out. As a couple at a club you would be hard pressed to find a single guy that doesn’t want to join you, whereas finding a single woman is very rare.
Keep your options open to new experiences, you never know what you’ll end up liking! For example: we told ourselves we wouldn’t want a threesome unless the third was a girl. However when it came down to it, we LOVED our first threesome with another guy. He initiated (we never would have at this time) and we agreed it would be fun to try out and after an amazing time now here we are, doing these things once every month or two at least. I swear ladies it’s like full-blown body worship. All the attention on you. And my husband finds this unbelievably hot as well. He tells me I’m to much fun to keep all to himself. (And that’s why I married him… he’s always been so open-minded. I never thought we would both be the sexual deviants we are now)
Now if you’re a single man, don’t be discouraged by someone saying no. Move on to somewhere else and know that there may be nights you don’t get any action! But if they say yes, you are now in for a really good time. Teasing is so great. And light kisses wherever you touch. Don’t be rough unless it’s asked for (seems intuitive but you never know) and make sure you have protection ready. Before you move to actual penetration double check & make sure it’s okay.
If you’re a single woman at these clubs, that is lovely. I salute you for your sexual prowess. You still might need to read some of this so I’ll list some tips for you angels anyway. You are what is referred to as a unicorn, the rarest gem of this lifestyle. In threesome situations with another man & woman, make sure you chat her up first. Human beings can be insanely jealous creatures so this helps avoid that. If you aren’t bi make sure it’s known before you get into anything, some women (like me) love to have girl-on-girl experiences. You will have SO much fun at a club, whether it’s with a couple, a single guy or a few single guys!
3. Sketchy People
Rarely have we had to deal with this at a club, but if someone you say “No.” to doesn’t leave you alone, please please for the sake of everyone else at the club report it to the bouncer or bartender or employee right away. These clubs have seen just about every kind of person & that is the kind of thing that the club owner would want eliminated right away. These places are meant to be a positive & safe place to act on your deepest desires, and nothing kills libido faster than a pesky creep. Don’t be afraid to say something!
Please shower. Scrub every crevice. And wear deodorant. In Europe every now and then we’ve encountered someone that smells bad and good lord it is not attractive. Nothing clears a room like a super smelly person. And remember if this club is hot or you get any action whatsoever you will sweat! Be prepared, be clean and if you smell nice from some cologne that’s even better. In Germany it seems like men put aftershave down there & that can be quite refreshing!
5. Have an amazing time!
If there’s a dance floor, dance with someone. Have a drink, chat someone up. Be social and go in with no expectations. It’s sexy when someone knows how to have a good time.
I would love to hear any additional feedback from readers (if there are any) as far as etiquette goes, so please comment if you have any questions or if there’s anything you would like to add!
Thanks for reading this you beautiful sexual beings ❤